The Worst Year of My Life

Well, this has to be the worst year of my life. I sure hope that the rest of the decade doesn’t go like this. First of all on March 8, 1980 I was dancing to a “Goldie and Liza” video-cassette when my knee gave out on me! David was over when it happened. Doug made a surprise visit the night before while I was taping “The Wizard of Oz”. They took me to the hospital for X-rays. On March 10, 1980 I went to a Doctor Reddi to look at it. Then on March 26th, my 26 year old brother committed suicide! Here is the story.

I was on crutches when I went to the kitchen to eat. Mother came out and yelled upstairs for Wayne to come down to eat and he said, “I’m not hungry, I don’t feel well.” My mother went upstairs to see him, this was at 5:00. Them my father came upstairs from work and I told him Wayne was sick, he then went up to see what was the matter. I ate my supper and went up. He had thrown up and was lying in the bed. My mother thought we should bring him to the hospital but my father and I thought he was just sick with the flu and thought after he through up some more he would feel better. Now this night the Radio Club was coming over, 12 men to eat and discuss ham radio. Mother called up Perry Parise and broke down crying to tell Perry that she couldn’t play tennis the next day. I sat with Wayne about &:30 and he began to throw up. It was a clear mucous substance. For a fleeting second I thought it was poison, but it left my mind. One thing that puzzled me was that he kept saying he was cold, but he had a ton of blankets on him. The radio club came. I slipped on the rug in Wayne’s room and he asked if I was alright. I was. Jack came over at 8:00 to study for my learners permit test the next day. When Real People was over, Jack went home. I decided to see how Wayne was. My mother was in the room and she found blood in his throw up and some disgusting stuff on his door. She came out of his room and asked me about Paraquat. That reminded me about marijuana and that it was deadly. We called my father upstairs away from the radio club and he said that Wayne didn’t spray the roses today with Paraquat. He went into Wayne’s room and said to Wayne, “You didn’t spray the roses today”, and Wayne said,” I drank the Paraquat”..then an expression I never saw on my father and he said pleadingly, “No!” Then my mother asked, “why” and Wayne said, ” I thought you were going to put me in an institution” When he said that I had to leave the room. I couldn’t believe what was going on. I began to shake all over. My mother was crying over him and then she left the room. I put my arms around her. I immediately told my father to call the poison control center. He did. Mom and Dad drove him to Norwood Hospital. I then called up David and told him. He was going to come down. Then my father came home to look for the bottle, he couldn’t find it.  I went down to see if I could find it. At about 11:00 Aunt Gen called up and picked me up. I stayed overnight. At around ten o clock my mother came over. The ambulance had brought Wayne to University Hospital last night she said. She said that his bowel was perforated and it caved in..they would operate but it was doubtful he’d make it. At about 5:00 the phone rang. I stayed in Aunt Gen’s living room when she left to answer it. I couldn’t here what she was saying. I thought Wayne had died. When my Aunt Gen got off the phone we both began to cry. After the big cry she said that at 3:00 that day Wayne had had cardiac arrest but they got his heart going again. At 5:00 he was unconscious, that was what my mother had said. I still at this point had hopes that he might live. One thing my Aunt Gen did was to light a candle when she got of the phone. I thought that it symbolized Wayne, I liked it. Then some friends of Aunt Gen came over and Aunt Gen blew the candle out at 8:10 P.M. The guest said “Why did you do that?” Aunt Gen lit it again. At about 8:58 my Mother and Dad came over. They said that Wayne’s heart stopped at 8:00 and they couldn’t get it going again. My mother said that she had talked to him before he died. She said she said to him, “I don’t know, but I’ve been saving some money and you’re good I’ll send you around the world by boat or plane, whichever you like!” Then Wayne lifted his hand and waved it around like a plane. This to me sounded ironic. Just 5 days before his death he and my mother were arguing about planes. You see, my mother is afraid to fly and he had a fight over how planes are safe. Well that Saturday I went back home and Doug and family flew in from Pennsylvania. The wake was Sunday 2-4, 7-9, the funeral Monday. It was an experience I’d like to forget and can’t. My brother dead!!

Well I have accepted his death now and even moving into his room. I can really use the space. I’ve so much stuff and now I have his. Life must and will go on! Now about my knee. Dr. Reddi turned out to be incompetent and I am with a new doctor, Dr. Doherty. I had a scope don on my knee Tuesday and it seems I have to have major surgery on it in a week. It will take at least 6 weeks after the operation until I’ll be recuperated. That means I will have missed about 14 weeks of school. At least I’ve been getting tutors. I might have to repeat the grade. Well I am getting writer’s cramp and it is almost dinner time. Sorry for not writing in a while, but I’ve had a lot on my mind and it took me a lot of courage to write it down. Bye!!

Star Trek – The Motion Picture

Well it has been a long time since I have written. It really has been too long. School this year is the worst it could ever be. Gym 3 times a week, all the courses are so hard. I’m having trouble with all my classes especially Chemistry, and U.S. History. I have been sick off and on since the Pope’s visit to Boston on October 1st. I am always tired and depressed. Since I last wrote I went to see Helen Reddy in concert and Liza Minnelli in concert. Both were oragasmic! On this day in 1979, Star Trek – The Motion Picture opens all over the U.S. I can’t go tonight because as I said because of my various sicknesses. I’ve been out of school for the past two days because of a terrible cough. I may have to have a tonsilectomy! That would be fun. Doug and Ellen and the kids came to visit in September, and now they are coming for Christmas for 7 days, I can’t wait. I really can’t wait for this school year to end. I hate it so much! I’ve been to gym this year so far about 12 times, the rest I skipped. I told my parents that I was skipping and they understood why. I think that I want to go out with Karen Gately, now that she has split up with Nick. She is slightly fat, but look who is talking, old fatso himself, besides she has one of the nicest personalities I know! There are so many times I wish Judy Garland was alive! I’ve been working down in the greenhouse when I’m not sick after school! David also works there after school, so does Rich. My father is getting a five thousand dollar tractor Monday. My autograph collection is quite large now. I have also joined the Lindsay Wagner fan club. They send you newsletters which tells what she is doing. Well, I hope to keep better track of my thoughts better in this thing! (maybe once a month)! Bye.

I Wish I Could Meet A Nice Girl

Today was warm and I went swimming. Did I tell you I’m collecting autographs? It’s great fun. Tomorrow is evaluation day so it’s a half day. The only problem that I have is gym. Yuck, I hate gym. I wish I could meet a nice girl. I know they are hard to find in this day and age.  I’ve decided to lose weight. I probably won’t though because I forget to use my will power. I can’t wait till school is out. David Fitzgerald and I are planning our vacation for our senior year. I think that it is too early but we might go to Florida and stay at Disney World and they say you have to make reservations a year in advance. I think I’d like to take up jogging but I need someone to do it with me. Richard and I started production on our garden today. We are going to have corn, tomatoes,peppers, and sunflowers. Well, Goodbye for now.

Eliza

Friday Rich came down and we typed and Eliza program on the computer. My mother has an infected finger from when she slammed the dishwasher on it. I’ve ordered a Fred Astaire autograph and I wrote to several stars asking for their autographs. I went to the movies with Ellen on Friday to see California Suite. We both thought it stunk. This vacation is going by so fast. Wayne is going to New Orleans in June for a growers show. I could have gone if I wanted to but it seemed boring. We went to Computer Mart to look around and we ordered a Star Trek game. I can’t wait to see it. Well I want to get some sleep, so goodnight.

Lady Liberty

I’m watching a movie on Channel 56. It’s called Lady Liberty.  I’ve seen it before when it was on the local channel. It isn’t very good but I’m bored. Friday is Good Friday and Ellen and the two kids are coming Monday for April vacation. David is coming down Easter and I want to start an autograph collection. I am reading a fiction book called, Murder on the Yellow Brick Road. Well I’m going to watch the show. Good-bye.

Gym Class

Today I found out that have to take gym next year 3 times a week, and I hate gym so much. Richard went to the hospital today to have his cyst removed from his butt. They say he’ll be 6 weeks on his stomach. I think I’ll see if I can see him. I went to a model railroad show in Carver it was just like a store. I could go to Quebec with the school, but no one I like is going. It’s 9:41 and I am tired. I have to stay in school for lunch and gym Tues. and Thurs. What a waste. Mon., Weds., and Fri. I get to go home at 10 minutes of one instead of 2:30. Well good night.

The Substitute Teacher

It’s 10 o’ clock and I’m sleepy but I want to write about what happened today. Mrs. Columbo wasn’t on last night because they wanted to show a repeat of a special two hour Quincy on Legionaires disease. I’m worried about my Amarylis it seems to be turning brown. Today in Western Civ. we had a substitute, and I got into a good mood and she said that she would tell our teacher, Mrs. Reilly, that were bad if we didn’t shape up. And I said affectionately that I didn’t care and she said that she would leave her a note that I said that. But she’s a good teacher and I don’t think she will tell. I started or rather Jackie and I started to get the pool ready today. We got the filter together. I know that it’s too early to get it open, but just so we won’t be bored I think we will open it tomorrow. Well sleep is apon me “Move over Cuddles”


Cuddles

Smoking

I am writing this journal as a chore. I procrastinate writing in it. I will probably leave big gaps in it. I’m writing this with an erasermate pen, the first pen to be totally erasable. I’ve been in a great mood all day today. I didn’t even mind going to gym. This is a first. I want to watch Mrs. Columbo on television tonight. I like mystery shows. My friend Nick Theodorou seems to be slipping from my reach. He goes to play pinball with Paul Lasalvia and is skipping school he tells me, at least once a week. And he just got his license and he is always driving around and I never get to see him. He also hangs around with Tom Concillio, a person I’d guess you’d call a “man of the world.” He treats me alright, but he smokes. Now I hate smokers (I do love my mother). Now I know that is the wrong thing to do, to hate someone because they smoke, bit it’s a terrible habit and I can’t see how anybody could be so stupid when they know it’s so dangerous to their health. They say it starts because people want to be with the crowd. I think people should be independent. Me, Scott Fisher, is totally different. I never do much of anything that everyone else is doing. I think that’s one great quality I have over all of them. Another thing that bugs me is that Tom Concillio is too young to smoke. I think a cigarette in any person under the age of 35 looks terrible. You have to be very old and ugly to smoke something that is so ugly. I also think that it is terrible that Norwood Senior High School has a smoking area right on the grounds of the school.(I dread every time I go through there. Smokers make me so nervous). SMOKING STINKS! (I think it should be banned from all public places) I can’t think of anything else I want to say, well Goodbye…
P.S. I do know what I want to say(I’ve said it already)

SMOKING STINKS

James Mason

This is my first journal entry I made when I was 15…27 years ago! I have changed nothing other than to add a few links.

I’ve decided to keep a record of my life. I plan to be an actor and if I ever become important I will have a record of what I did. Sunday I went to a concert at the Charles Playhouse. It was Jim Bailey, a female impersonator. He did Judy Garland, one of my favorite stars. I wish she wasn’t dead. The best part was that my mother and I were standing outside the playhouse and James Mason walks up to the door. My mother first shook his hand and said that we saw all his shows, and then I shook his hand. I felt so good. When we were sitting in the audience, Mr. Mason sat about 5 seats away from us with his wife, Clarissa Kaye. We didn’t have a pen and we wanted his autograph. My mother went over and said that he probably never had someone ask him for his autograph without a pen! He said he had one and signed, just like a star! I’m writing this while watching The Bionic Woman. I think I’ll do this every night during The Bionic Woman. I’ve been home from school sick today. I missed my Tale of the Two Cities test. Tomorrow we see the movie. I am going to watch the show now.

musings from a peter pan mind