Dismay in December
by Betty Ann Fisher
All the rubble ’round me lies
All shot to Heck before my eyes.
The trigger’s bent on that big gun
He thinks I’ll buy another one
The poor stuffed dog has lost his nose
And someone stepped on the turtle’s toes.
He broke the pedal of the trike
The one I was so sure he’d like
The new rug’s all marked up with glue
Those Sparkle paints were something new
The power saw and bench were nice
But they’re all fouled up from slicing ice.
The chemistry set was just delightful
But the smell , my dear, was simply frightful
The test tubes are all broken now
There’s not much left from the awful row
Over who was going to eat the cake
That the small guy made with the Easy-Bake.
Santa’s gone for another year
I’ve had my fill of joy and cheer
In case he plans on coming back
He can take the things in his big pack
To someone else’s sons and nieces
Or else stay around to mend the pieces.
From the book, Please Delay Departure
Wow it has been so long since I have written directly here on the blog. I usually just post to Twitter, which posts to Facebook, which posts to here. Confused Yet? I am. I really like facebook because it links with my friends and they are FORCED to keep up with me. Whenever I write here on the blog who knows who sees it! I do miss being able to actually put down more than a few sentences though! Those who know me in real life do know that I can really rattle on! Facebook is an amazing social network though, I must say. I have been able to find friends that I have lost touch with and it is wonderful now to be able to keep up with their daily lives. Even the non-technical friends have started to embrace it. Not having a Twitter or Facebook account is like not having a date for the senior prom! I have been so busy with nursing school that I have not been expressing my inner geek as much. In November of last year I left work at the Apple store to get a job as a certified nursing assistant. While it is good that I get my foot in the door at a hospital before I graduate, I really do miss not being on top of the latest gadgets that Apple had to offer. That and the fact that I just don’t have the cash to buy a lot of things right now…although I do have an ipad! 2010 has been great in the fact that I start my last semester of nursing school in about a month but it has been a bad year in the fact that my 58 year old brother took his life on February 19th. Yes there is a twitter announcement on here about it somewhere, but I never really wrote about it. My mother and I had talked to him about a week before he died and we had no idea that his life would end so soon after we talked to him. He was really depressed after his second wife died for about two years and I might have expected it then, but this hit us like a ton of bricks! He seemed to be doing so much better! He was misdiagnosed with Lyme disease or so we think that is what he had and was pretty sick for the last two years. We found him a special Lyme doctor and he really seemed to be feeling a lot better with the treatment. He was going to take a severance package at his job the day he died, but he had a lot of job offers, so it is odd that the job layoff would be too much for him. We probably will never really know. It just seemed so out of character for him. He knew how hard we all suffered when my other brother killed himself 30 years ago in March. I am amazed that his death hasn’t finally killed my 86 year old mother. It is horrible to lose two brothers, but I can only imagine how it must feel to lose two sons. He must have been in so much emotional pain that he just couldn’t think about the rest of us. It seems such a waste. He and I were finally really having a wonderful relationship together in the past year, something we never had. He was coming down from Maine several times a month and hanging out…it was wonderful. I always thought that he was so strong in so many ways, but I did notice that emotionally something was lacking. I will miss him. My mother is a real trouper and a role model for those who have been through trauma. I know I get a lot of my strength from her and wish that I had a little less and could have given some to my brothers. I remember when my first brother died that I began to really appreciate all those that are in my life because I learned at 16 that anyone can die at any moment. I just miss so many friends and family that have passed. It is weird that my only direct living relative is now my mother and she is 86! I don’t relish that I will be the only one left, sooner than later. I can’t believe how fast time flies by when you get older. I still feel about 25, but the mirror is telling me a different story as does the fact that my family is dropping like flies! It really is time to really focus on the people who are still in my life and I will strive to do so.
Well if you have read this far, you truly have too much time on your hands, but I really appreciate it. I really enjoy the free flow thought of the blog and will probably write some articles about some inane things soon. I really miss it.
Well we made it home! It was a wonderful time and it was so much fun to have most of the family with us! I did O.K. with eating, but had a couple of times where I ate too big a piece of something and was sick for about an hour. It is hard to eat slowly when you are so excited to be someplace. The weather was beautiful and the parks were not that crowded which made the trip really nice. The weather is so cold back here! I am not ready for Winter…. or Fall for that matter!
See More Photos Here!
Well it has been a busy and crazy week. My cellulitis returned and my doctor referred me to a surgeon for possible cyst removal! I get the craziest illnesses. We are gearing up for our Cordeiro family reunion in about a week. It will be such fun to have everyone together. I have been busy with the Fisher family genealogy and have been contacted by three, count em , three distant cousins I never new I had. It really is so much fun making connections. I am down 47 lbs since my operation in June and feeling great!
I recently was contacted by a distant cousin who has filled in some of the missing links in the Fisher genealogy. I decided to publish what I have found out so far so that he can see what I have accomplished. I have a lot more work to do on it, but I did a lot of research in the past. I lost interest when my father passed away, but that is probably all the more reason I should document what I have found out. Take a look!
I haven’t written, because I haven’t been feeling very well lately. It all started with what I though was an ingrown hair on my upper arm. Within a day, the redness it grew to much larger proportions. Over the weekend my lymph nodes in my armpit became swollen, my shoulder went into spasm, and I developed a fever. I was off to the emergency room. They diagnosed it as cellulitis and put my on two antibiotics. If I don’t respond after a few days I have to contact them. It is possible that the bacteria causing it is the deadly MRSA virus, and I will have to take a special antibiotic. It is so weird. I always seem to get the most uncommon of illnesses, just when I was doing so well after my weight loss surgery.
Well we had a great time at Walt Disney World and Gay Days this past weekend. It was a lot of fun and we made some new friends as well as connected with some old ones. The highlight of the trip was Country Bear Jamboree at the Magic Kingdom. when all the bears attend the 1 P.M. show. The attraction is jam packed with bears and cubs of all sizes! We did get a call that my mother was having trouble breathing on the day we were leaving. She was rushed to the hospital and I couldn’t wait to get home to see her. My mother suffers from congestive heart failure and she was retaining fluid which was causing her to have trouble breathing. She is home now and is doing well.
This is a video I made to celebrate the 50th anniversary of Mike’s parents. They truly are special people and we love them very much
Mike’s Parents have been married 50 years today! Happy Anniversary!
Congratulations to Mike Cordeiro for winning the New England Bowling Association Singles Tournament! I am so proud of you!
I am a Great Uncle Again!
Today my life-partner of 12 years is 42! He is just as cute as the day I met him. If you see this man wish him…
Today I am 44. Did I just really write that? Last year I kept telling everyone I was 42…I really forgot how old I was. I don’t think that will happen this year. I feel my age lately. My back hurts, my right heel is sore, I have diabetes, my hairline is receding, I have sleep apnea, I have gray hair in my beard, I have high cholesterol, and I can’t seem to lose this middle age spread. If age is a progressive disease, I think I will be a mess by 50! I truly hope there are peaks and valleys to this roller coaster.
I know that I haven’t written anything in a while. I have been spending all my time researching nursing schools. For 15 years I have been taking care of my elderly parents. It began when my Dad had a terrible car accident in 1992. He was on his way to the dentist when he crashed into a Norwood Public Works truck. He was left with ten broken ribs, a punctured liver, a punctured spleen, and a broken neck. The broken neck was not diagnosed until three months after the accident! It was not long after that my father developed Alzheimer’s Disease. He needed constant supervision and eventually needed total physical care which my mother and I provided. He died in my arms one night as I was putting him to bed. Two months before his death in 2003, my mother suffered a devastating stroke during open heart surgery. The stroke left her unable to speak and she could not move her legs or right arm. I was devastated. Now the woman who gave me everything, and was my partner in care to my father… also needed my help. I am glad to say that my mother is much better now. She can walk with a cane, can speak somewhat clearly, and has some mobility in her right arm. She needs assistance with meals, and other activities of daily living, but in general she has mad a remarkable recovery. Our house is just like anyone else’s… two gay guys and a stroke victim!
My Dad worked so hard in his life that we have had enough money for me to stay home as “caregiver to the stars”! Unfortunately, the “financial well” is not as full as it used to be. Mike and I need to plan for our eventual “golden years!” Returning to an acting career is out of the question for me. I need a 401k! Nursing seems to make the most sense to me. I can go to school part-time now, while my mother is stable. If she is still O.K. when I graduate, I can work evenings and weekends when Mike is here. If I don’t at least start something now at 43, I am really going to have a tough time later. I will tell you later what a pain it is to get into nursing school!