Disneybear

Well, this has to be the worst year of my life. I sure hope that the rest of the decade doesn’t go like this. First of all on March 8, 1980 I was dancing to a “Goldie and Liza” video-cassette when my knee gave out on me! David was over when it happened. Doug made a surprise visit the night before while I was taping “The Wizard of Oz”. They took me to the hospital for X-rays. On March 10, 1980 I went to a Doctor Reddi to look at it. Then on March 26th, my 26 year old brother committed suicide! Here is the story.

I was on crutches when I went to the kitchen to eat. Mother came out and yelled upstairs for Wayne to come down to eat and he said, “I’m not hungry, I don’t feel well.” My mother went upstairs to see him, this was at 5:00. Them my father came upstairs from work and I told him Wayne was sick, he then went up to see what was the matter. I ate my supper and went up. He had thrown up and was lying in the bed. My mother thought we should bring him to the hospital but my father and I thought he was just sick with the flu and thought after he through up some more he would feel better. Now this night the Radio Club was coming over, 12 men to eat and discuss ham radio. Mother called up Perry Parise and broke down crying to tell Perry that she couldn’t play tennis the next day. I sat with Wayne about &:30 and he began to throw up. It was a clear mucous substance. For a fleeting second I thought it was poison, but it left my mind. One thing that puzzled me was that he kept saying he was cold, but he had a ton of blankets on him. The radio club came. I slipped on the rug in Wayne’s room and he asked if I was alright. I was. Jack came over at 8:00 to study for my learners permit test the next day. When Real People was over, Jack went home. I decided to see how Wayne was. My mother was in the room and she found blood in his throw up and some disgusting stuff on his door. She came out of his room and asked me about Paraquat. That reminded me about marijuana and that it was deadly. We called my father upstairs away from the radio club and he said that Wayne didn’t spray the roses today with Paraquat. He went into Wayne’s room and said to Wayne, “You didn’t spray the roses today”, and Wayne said,” I drank the Paraquat”..then an expression I never saw on my father and he said pleadingly, “No!” Then my mother asked, “why” and Wayne said, ” I thought you were going to put me in an institution” When he said that I had to leave the room. I couldn’t believe what was going on. I began to shake all over. My mother was crying over him and then she left the room. I put my arms around her. I immediately told my father to call the poison control center. He did. Mom and Dad drove him to Norwood Hospital. I then called up David and told him. He was going to come down. Then my father came home to look for the bottle, he couldn’t find it.  I went down to see if I could find it. At about 11:00 Aunt Gen called up and picked me up. I stayed overnight. At around ten o clock my mother came over. The ambulance had brought Wayne to University Hospital last night she said. She said that his bowel was perforated and it caved in..they would operate but it was doubtful he’d make it. At about 5:00 the phone rang. I stayed in Aunt Gen’s living room when she left to answer it. I couldn’t here what she was saying. I thought Wayne had died. When my Aunt Gen got off the phone we both began to cry. After the big cry she said that at 3:00 that day Wayne had had cardiac arrest but they got his heart going again. At 5:00 he was unconscious, that was what my mother had said. I still at this point had hopes that he might live. One thing my Aunt Gen did was to light a candle when she got of the phone. I thought that it symbolized Wayne, I liked it. Then some friends of Aunt Gen came over and Aunt Gen blew the candle out at 8:10 P.M. The guest said “Why did you do that?” Aunt Gen lit it again. At about 8:58 my Mother and Dad came over. They said that Wayne’s heart stopped at 8:00 and they couldn’t get it going again. My mother said that she had talked to him before he died. She said she said to him, “I don’t know, but I’ve been saving some money and you’re good I’ll send you around the world by boat or plane, whichever you like!” Then Wayne lifted his hand and waved it around like a plane. This to me sounded ironic. Just 5 days before his death he and my mother were arguing about planes. You see, my mother is afraid to fly and he had a fight over how planes are safe. Well that Saturday I went back home and Doug and family flew in from Pennsylvania. The wake was Sunday 2-4, 7-9, the funeral Monday. It was an experience I’d like to forget and can’t. My brother dead!!

Well I have accepted his death now and even moving into his room. I can really use the space. I’ve so much stuff and now I have his. Life must and will go on! Now about my knee. Dr. Reddi turned out to be incompetent and I am with a new doctor, Dr. Doherty. I had a scope don on my knee Tuesday and it seems I have to have major surgery on it in a week. It will take at least 6 weeks after the operation until I’ll be recuperated. That means I will have missed about 14 weeks of school. At least I’ve been getting tutors. I might have to repeat the grade. Well I am getting writer’s cramp and it is almost dinner time. Sorry for not writing in a while, but I’ve had a lot on my mind and it took me a lot of courage to write it down. Bye!!