Happy Boston Gay Pride!

Today was Gay Pride in Boston. Mike and I hadn’t been in the last two years because the weather hadn’t seemed to inviting. Today was a beautiful day and we had a nice time. It was really fun to link up with friends that we hadn’t seen in a long time, as well as make some new ones! For years I have always headed to Bennigan’s after the parade and had their Monte Cristo sandwich. This year was no exception. Although the sandwich is exceptionally greasy and unhealthy, it is definitely a tradition I wanted to follow for another year. I doubt I will be able to stomach it ever again after my gastric bypass next week. It was a sad farewell, but I am sure that I can find much more healthier things in the future!!

View Photos from Boston Pride

Final Preop Meeting

Today I had my final preop meeting with Dr. Lautz. I had to wait an
hour and a half before being seen, but it went well. Basically they
went over my records and I signed a consent form.  As I was leaving
the receptionist told me that she was moving my surgery to the 23rd
instead of the 16th. This gives me only two weeks to recover before I
go to take my summer microbiology class. It bums me out a bit, but at
least I won’t have to be on the preop diet while I am in Walt Disney
World next week. After the meeting with the Doctor I had preop blood
work and met with a nurse and the anesthesiologist. My appointment was
at 12, but I didn’t get in till about 2 PM. Now there is nothing more
to do but wait.

Upper GI and The Nutritionist

Today I had to have and upper gi and also meet with the nutritionist
for the first time. Dr. Lautz wanted to rule out whether I have a
hiatal hernia since I have gastric reflux. I had one back in the
90’s and it was negative, but he wanted to make sure.  The Upper Gi was
much easier than I remembered. I drank a lot more barium when I had
this first done. This time it was only 1 bottle and I think I had 3
last time! It isn’t the greatest tasting stuff, but it is a painless
procedure.

Next I met with the nutritionist, Linda Antoniro. She wanted to know
what a typical day of eating was like for me. The majority of the
meeting was about what my preop diet should be, and what it will be
after the surgery. Since was on a liquid diet in 1996, I kind of know
what to expect. I will only be on all liquids for two weeks after the
surgery which seems doable. I don’t have any other meetings until I
meet with Dr Lautz and the anesthesiologist on May 29th. The journey
continues.

Gym Rat

Well I am back at the gym 3 times a week trying to get back in shape. I do the elliptical for 45 minutes and then head to the weight room for about a half hour and pump, pump, pump! I have my records from when I was lifting before and it is amazing how quickly my muscles return and allow me to lift more and more each week. I really would like to be in great shape for the surgery in June. I am watching what I eat, but the pounds just don’t want to leave, I hope the reason is that I have been building some muscle.

It’s My Mother’s Fault

Yesterday I met with the Psychiatrist, Dr. Florina Haimovici. It was a
short meeting about 15 minutes. She wanted to know about my family
history, if I heard voices, and if I was familiar with what to expect
from gastric bypass. She asked me who was President of the United
States, to subtract 7 from 100, and tell her the months of the year
backwards. Gosh, I hope I pass! I was actually hoping for more from my
25 dollar copay, but it really is just a quick meeting to see if I was
certifiable!

The Decision

I am scheduled for gastric bypass surgery for Jun 16th. I have done much research and have talked to some of the best doctors at Brigham and Women’s hospital in Boston. All of them think I would be a great candidate and said they would do it themselves if they had the health problems that I am now facing. I don’t think I would even consider this if I did not have the diabetes, but the chance to eliminate it through surgery has sealed the deal. I would like to lose 20 lbs before the surgery and I have begun exercising every day. The better shape I am in before the quicker recovery I should have. If you would like more information on the procedure itself I strongly recommend reading Gastrointestinal Surgery for Severe Obesity at the National Institutes of Health.

Why Can’t I Keep The Weight Off?

This has been a very soul searching week for me. Since diagnosis with diabetes last October, I have maintained a weight loss of only about 5 pounds. It is really time for me to evaluate why I can’t seem to take my health seriously and get this weight off. I feel that one of my main problems is my ability to inhale food. I just don’t give my body enough time to let me know that I have had enough. I eat a varied diet and don’t have much of a sweet tooth, but my portion sizes are huge. I am discouraged by diets and weight-loss plans and have been on many all my life. I am even considering surgical solutions. I have always thought that they are a bad choice. However, recent studies suggest that surgical solutions can send diabetes into remission in over 80 percent of cases. It has also been noted that bariatric surgery is the most effective tool for losing and keeping weight off. It is becoming obvious to me and apparently backed by most statistics that telling an obese person to just eat less and exercise more is not effective. From what I can research 90% of those who lose weight with traditional attempts regain their weight. I know from my diet classes that most of us in there are still fat! I look at all the people in my life that are fat and although some lose weight, all of them have gained it back. I know from psychology that “past behavior is the best predictor of future behavior”, and that is why we stay fat. Yes we can change, and some people do, but most of us will not and that is the reality. Almost all the gurus, and friends that mean well seem to have never been 100 lbs over their ideal weight. I have tried weight watchers, nutra-system, atkins, and have been going to HMR for over ten years and I think I have yet to meet an educator that is keeping 100lbs off permanently. It seems my doctor’s can’t seem to lose weight or have never been seriously overweight either. Obese people like myself started our problems early in life. We really should have been more worried then. If we never got this heavy the first time, I think we probably would have had a better chance. My understanding is that once we gain additional fat cells they remain with us even if we lose weight. This gives us a tendency to gain weight more easily than someone who never has been overweight to begin with. Doctors and people who have never been really overweight seem to forget this. Our bodies are different than yours. It really is different for you than us. Yes, we can lose weight just as you might have, but it is harder for us to keep it off. Our extra fat cells are hungry! I am really beginning to believe this. I know I can lose weight…and have done so many times. I just find it impossible to keep it off without making it a total obsession. I know when I lost 100 lbs 9 years ago that I was working far harder than someone who was my weight at the time who had never been seriously overweight. I don’t think telling people that diet and exercise is the only key to weight maintenance in  someone who was obese is the end of the equation. It is an important part, but I think more research must be done. I really think something is missing here. It could be the fat cells I spoke of, a metabolic deficiency, or something we haven’t found yet. There is too much focus today on losing weight when the real problem is keeping it off permanently. At this point, I am going to use the best available evidence to find a permanent weight maintenance solution.

Dieting again

I gained back 6 pounds! I have let the shock of diabetes leave me for the past week or so. I am back on watching what I eat and writing it down. 2008 has to be the year that I finally get it together. Nursing school will be so tough if I can’t fit into a patient’s room! I currently am at 260 and need to get to 185. I’ve done it 3 times before, maybe the 4th is a charm. Goodbye bread, hello salad!