Category: Bear and Gay News

My dear friend Judy Francesconi has just published her 2008 Lesbian Calendar. I thought I would give her a plug since I just finished her website, and all the links will help her out too. I also designed the cover of this year’s calendar so it is about me too!

I am so sick of politicians bombarding my phone line, mailbox, and life. I get so many calls telling me to vote for this one… vote for that one. Candidate for State Representative Doug Obey is hands down the worst! He is everywhere! Signs on lawns, phone calls, and way too many fliers. My biggest problem with him is his name….Obey! I’m not voting for anyone that has a name with that much authoritarianism! Yes he says it sounds like oh-bee, but Obey, is oh-bay… no matter what you tell yourself.
Today, Mr. Obey really kicked it up a notch by appearing at my front door! Now this man was actually invading my personal space! I decided I must confront him and find out what he is about, or at least to try and stop his virus-like campaign. I knew I must proceed cautiously, lest my house might somehow be plastered with Obey signs… shutting out all my oxygen. I opened the door.

Mr. Authoritarian shook my hand and introduced himself, little did he know what he was in for. Being the gay activist that I have become, my first question was, “What do you think about gay marriage?” Mr. O. looked at me and said, “I think the people should vote on it.” Bzzzzzzzz, wrong answer. I told him how I felt that there is no way a majority should be allowed to vote on a minority’s civil rights. I told him that there is no way the gay community can compete with the money that is being poured into writing discrimination in constitutions across the country from the religious right. He told me we had the most money and power. I told him he was wrong. He told me I should have equal rights, but that it shouldn’t be called marriage, because it offends a lot of religious people. I told him we have separation of church and state. He told me he was against civil unions too, but says there should be something else that grants the same rights as marriage to gays and lesbians. I told him about separate but equal laws, and he had no idea there were such a thing. He told me that if it were put to a vote to grant the same rights to gays and lesbians it would pass. I told him he was wrong and naive. He told me that I was not legally married because the courts decided whether I could be married. I told him I was legally married in Massachusetts. He told me that if I was legally married then the people who wrote the constitution meant for gays to be married. I told him that was ridiculous, and that the constitution has changed since it was written, and will continue to change. He told me that marriage has not changed for thousands of years and was always one man, one woman. I told him that in some cultures it is one man and many women, that women were property, and that marriage has changed many times over thousands of years. He asked me what if men in the United States wanted to have more than one wife? I told him that is not the issue, they still can marry at least one person whom they love, while gays and lesbians cannot except in Massachusetts. He told me that discrimination doesn’t go on here in Massachusetts, I told him it most surely does. I told him that if one straight man stands up against the discrimination against gays and lesbians, he has far more power for change than 10 gay activists. He told me he has to represent his constituents, I told him that should include his minority ones also.

There was so much that I wanted to say and yet I felt so unprepared for the debate. I only like to state facts when I debate and it was clear to me Doug Obey was sorely misinformed, yet felt free to state things he knew nothing about. He really needs to learn about discrimination, the power of mob rule, and he needs attend a good course on the constitution, the founding fathers, and constitutional law. He is extremely out of touch with the needs of minorities and doesn’t even know that if the constitutional amendment passes… those of us that are married will still remain so. I wish that I could have studied some things before our meeting. The facts don’t support most of his arguments, but I didn’t always have the answers at my fingertips while he felt free to make blatantly false statements. I was so furious when he left and wanted to chase him down with other points. But my greatest fear is that this man will probably win. Our town is pretty conservative and will probably vote for him because he is fiscally conservative. And then there are those phone calls, signs, and fliers.