Noted Pillsbury Spokesman Dies

The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71.

Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their last respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, and Captain Crunch. As you might imagine, the gravesite was piled high with flours. Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy and lovingly described Doughboy as a man who never knew how much he was kneaded. Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes. Despite being a little flaky at times, he still, as a crusty old man, was considered a roll model for millions.

Doughboy is survived by his wife, Play Dough, and two Children, John Dough and Jane Dough, plus they had one in the oven. His elderly father Pop Tart, also survives him. The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.

Kudos: Chaz’s Blog

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